tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7801531430325788593.post817737788317216049..comments2023-10-30T05:13:10.006-05:00Comments on A Queen and her Knight: Things May Be Coming To An End.Angeliquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06079421215693265281noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7801531430325788593.post-45785489518788900002015-04-09T17:14:35.701-05:002015-04-09T17:14:35.701-05:00Yes, he finished the writing assignment. In short,...Yes, he finished the writing assignment. In short, he was pissed off, and offended that I gave it to him, and he's not the least bit interested it wearing it. Of course, he could have avoided it all together if he'd simply told me he had no interest in it when I mentioned it several months ago. Instead, he simply ignored the topic.Angeliquehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06079421215693265281noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7801531430325788593.post-1737359142606178092015-04-09T17:11:42.799-05:002015-04-09T17:11:42.799-05:00You might have a point, except the current issues ...You might have a point, except the current issues between us have been going on for years. I have dealt with all the hard parts of all of this alone. When his mentally ill daughter lived with us, I dealt with her violent behaviors, I gave up sleeping to ensure the safety of the other kids. I dealt with the doctors, therapists, and hospitals-- and I did it alone, while homeschooling and caring for the other 5 kids. He went to work, came home and did basically nothing. When I asked for support and help, he told me he was at work all day and couldn't help me. I managed it all on my own. <br /><br />The problems we have now, have been ongoing. I turned to flr in an attempt to save our marriage It worked for a while. But it hasn't worked in over a year. <br /><br />I am also mourning the "loss" of our daughter. She may only be my step daughter, but I have been her mother since she was 18 months old. She doesn't even know her bio mom. I was her primary care giver, and primary support person until we had to place her in care for the safety of the other kids. <br /><br />Angeliquehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06079421215693265281noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7801531430325788593.post-24880734912093941122015-04-09T16:48:52.112-05:002015-04-09T16:48:52.112-05:00Just my 2 cents. Take what sounds right and ignore...Just my 2 cents. Take what sounds right and ignore the rest :-)<br /><br />I would like to say a few words in his defense. <br /><br />Both you and him are going through tough times. The facts you are sharing with us readers would bring down many many many of us to our knees... There is obviously A LOT going on in your life. And to me it seems as if you and him are just using different coping skills.<br /><br />You have put enormous energy in him and in the family situation in the last weeks/months. And it seems as if your effort is not paying off. However, I want to encourage you to not lose hope. It IS possible to turn scars into stars!!!<br /><br />IMHO I think he is telling the complete truth when he says "I would not stay in the relationship if I did not want to". So, basically, he wants to stay with you.<br /><br />I think he is not open to your efforts of improving the general situation because the situation just IS challenging for him. he probably IS depressed and he probably WANTS to mourn the "loss" of his kid. <br />in a way he IS NOT ready yet to go back to normal.<br /><br />You are trying everything humanly possible to help him deal with everything, but maybe he is not emotionally ready yet to accept your support. <br /><br />maybe you are supporting him enough by thinking: "he is a strong guy. he needs to mourn now but I am sure that he will find himself a way to get better again. I believe in him and in his resilience. he is the most resilient man I know and he will and can walk through that dark valley and I will await him with open arms at the sunny exit of that valley."<br /><br />And once he feels better again, he will be able to take better care of your and the kids needs too. he does not seem to want to hurt you. He maybe just cannot think very clearly right now.<br /><br />maybe focusing on the kids and on YOURSELF right now is the best you can do. Your own well being is the most important factor for the well being of the whole family. Knight is obviously not in an emotional state now to support you much. But I do believe that this is only a temporary thing. I personally do not have the slightest doubt that he does indeed love you very much. <br /><br />I do believe that pampering yourself as much as possible is the most helpful thing you can do right now. Go for it girl :-)<br />lawyerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11947031726118465940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7801531430325788593.post-30031972004127009412015-04-09T16:31:47.789-05:002015-04-09T16:31:47.789-05:00I am so very sorry! Perhaps let him know the marr...I am so very sorry! Perhaps let him know the marriage will end if he doesn't go see a counselor with you. Maybe another person who is neutral can help. You have certainly been more than patient. Wish I could give you a hug. He seems as dense as they come, no offense, but you can't be more clear here. By the way did he finish writing about the Chastity device?Mistress Mariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17378867322387589081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7801531430325788593.post-78207924682342861042015-04-09T16:31:39.931-05:002015-04-09T16:31:39.931-05:00I am so very sorry! Perhaps let him know the marr...I am so very sorry! Perhaps let him know the marriage will end if he doesn't go see a counselor with you. Maybe another person who is neutral can help. You have certainly been more than patient. Wish I could give you a hug. He seems as dense as they come, no offense, but you can't be more clear here. By the way did he finish writing about the Chastity device?Mistress Mariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17378867322387589081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7801531430325788593.post-21744206036764215392015-04-09T15:47:11.260-05:002015-04-09T15:47:11.260-05:00Many, many times. I've asked him to go see som...Many, many times. I've asked him to go see someone multiple times. He refused. I'm an herbalist and degreed Naturopath-- I've suggested he take herbs and supplements for depression. I've made taking those supplements and herbs a required part of his morning routine. He doesn't take them. I've suggested we attend marriage counseling or simply general counseling together since he was unwilling to go alone. He said he'd go with me, but then backed out. <br /><br />We both know he's prone to depression. We call it "falling into his pit of hell", but if he's unwilling to do anything about it , then I can't help him. And, as much as I love him, I can't allow him to pull me down with him. Angeliquehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06079421215693265281noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7801531430325788593.post-6569515678278725132015-04-09T15:19:21.913-05:002015-04-09T15:19:21.913-05:00Have you ever considered that your husband could b...Have you ever considered that your husband could be clinically depressed?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7801531430325788593.post-44200723768617815712015-04-09T14:11:23.967-05:002015-04-09T14:11:23.967-05:00My heart goes out to you Ms. Angelique. My heart goes out to you Ms. Angelique. sub hub in phxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17489169642204094414noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7801531430325788593.post-51659715525277477972015-04-09T13:42:53.616-05:002015-04-09T13:42:53.616-05:00I have tried many different forms of punishment wh...I have tried many different forms of punishment when he acts in ways I don't like. Nothing has worked. None of it phased him in the least, and as soon as I was no longer pissed off, he went right back to the old behavior. I punished that behavior. And a week later he did it again. It doesn't seem to matter what I do, his behavior doesn't change. He's not permitted to behave in ways that upset me. He's not allowed to be rude, or ignore the kids, or ignore me. He is punished for those things. He does them anyway.<br /><br />As far as kink goes..his kinks are not accommodated. His only real kink is swinging, and I refuse to allow it. He doesn't so much want to have other partners himself, but he wants me to take a lover or two, and let him watch or take pics. I've done it exactly once in ten years, and it was somebody I've known for over 20 years. <br /><br />No, what I really think is going on here is that my marriage is coming to an end. He says he cares and wants to work things out, but as you said, "what people say is meaningless, and what people do matters." What he does is continually show me that he doesn't care, and doesn't want to be here. Angeliquehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06079421215693265281noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7801531430325788593.post-2525799208442516912015-04-09T12:34:05.240-05:002015-04-09T12:34:05.240-05:00Ms. Angelique, i feel for you. please don't t...Ms. Angelique, i feel for you. please don't think of my comments as overly vague or disrespectful. It's not my intention, nor do I assume I am in any position to "correct" anyone's behavior, let a lone a Mistress Wife.<br /><br />That being said, it's only my opinion, but your knight behaves the way that frustrates and angers you because, well frankly he is allowed to behave that way. What people say is meaningless. What people do is what matters. The manner in which you choose to accept is behavior is up to you, of course, but it seems that your continuing frustration lies the belief that you actually do in a loving FLM, when in fact it seems more like a relationship that not only accommodates your husbands kinks, but does so on his terms and when he feels like it.<br /><br />Again Ms. Angelique, I mean no disrespect in any fashion. i genuinely feel for you living in your frequently frustrated state.sub hub in phxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17489169642204094414noreply@blogger.com