Interesting.. I've been writing about guilt, and thinking about what causes guilty feelings. I've pretty much come to the conclusion that I feel that way simply because of ingrained habits and ways of being that I've been taught over the years. That leading my Knight and allowing him to do things for me simply goes against deeply learned habits.
Not such a great reason to feel guilty.
As I was processing all this we had a day where my Knight forgot to do something important, and then tried to keep his mistake from me. He didn't lie outright, but he didn't tell me of his error when he realized. Nor did he try to fix it at the time. I found out a day or two later.. the task still undone, him knowing he had left it undone. This was a pretty big deal because the task was important. We are getting ready to move, and the forgotten item was something I needed done in preparation for the move.
I was angry with my Knight. I wasn't so angry that he had forgotten the task, it could be made up. I was angry that he knew he had forgotten it, didn't tell me and didn't make an effort to complete the job.. just let me think it had been done. Our number one rule is complete and absolute honesty at all times.. about every thing. When my Knight is unable to do something, or he forgets, he's supposed to let me know as soon as he realizes there's an issue. I wasn't home when my Knight realized he'd forgotten the task, so he should have sent me a text.
He didn't. And that's why I was angry with him. I was disappointed and hurt that he wasn't honest with me.
For the first time since we started flr, I punished my Knight with something that mattered to him. I told him he was not work on his current fiction writing project for two full days. Now.. this is November.. and November means NaNoWriMo. NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Contest. The goal is to create a work of fiction that is 50,000 words or longer during the month of November. That's 1666 words a day.. and if you miss a day it's really ... really hard to catch up. My Knight and I have each done NaNo every single year for the last seven years. Except this year, my Knight lost two writing days because I told him he was not allowed to touch it.
Know what? He listened. He didn't argue, didn't pout about it, he just stayed away from the computer for those two days.
And.. I don't feel in the least bit guilty.