I realized about a week ago that I feel guilty when my Knight is busy at some mundane household task while I relax or do something for me. This came about when I sent my Knight off to the kitchen to wash dishes and clean up after dinner while I sat and listened to my on-line class lecture. It was about 11pm, and we were both tired. I felt guilty for curling up on the couch with my class while my Knight stood at the sink doing dishes.
I've been thinking about it a lot and I realized it happens a lot. There have been more than several times that I've told my Knight not to worry about some task on his list simply because I felt guilty. Many times my Knight's daily task list is not complete by the time I'm ready to head to bed. My Knight has enough time after work to complete his lists, if he manages his time well - a lot of the time he does not. So, by 11pm or so, when I'm ready for bed, my Knight's list isn't done. He's openly acknowledged that sometimes he just needs to stay up and finish his list, but most of the time I tell him to just forget it and come to bed.
Why? Guilt. I feel bad going to bed while my Knight is still up finishing a task I gave him. Ideally, he is supposed to get everything done by 1030pm so that we have some time to talk before bed.
I'm still trying to figure out why I feel like this, and how to avoid it.
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One, your Knight probably wants you to tell him to continue with his list of chores until it's finished, but do so in a way that leaves him in no doubt that you expect them to be finished by a certain time in future.
ReplyDeleteAnd two, dont feel guilty, be more selfish and demanding. I know that you may feel guilty but your knight wants to feel that you are in total control and demand his service. If you do feel guilty, then if it helps you and it will certainly help him, make sure that you keep him teased and aroused as often as possible when he is doing his chores. Remind him of your feminine charm and why it is he must obey you.
Dear Q,
ReplyDeleteJust an observation from an admiring reader. i can understand how you would feel guilty; it's a normal reaction considering your observation of K doing "tasks" you give him. Perhaps if you thought of what he is doing as a "devotion" it might help you see that it his sense of well being and happiness comes from pleasing you (hence the reduced depression).
Hope it helps
marissa
Yes, from my experience with John I understand how you feel. It is more of a problem now that John is older and ties more easily.
ReplyDeleteSaturday is generally John's work day. It takes him about four hours to clean house. During the week he keeps up with laundry, and is required to 'pick up' things as necessary. Except for these small duties like washing the dinner dishes, evening chores are very lite.
Often times he will fold laundry while we are watching the television. There are a few other small task, such as geting my clothes ready for the next day, but generally these don't take long.
What is most important to our relationship is that every day we have that special time to talk. There is no television, only soft music. Our traditon is that John kneels in front of my chair. We visit with each other about our day, our problems, and joys. We talk as husband and wife as well as mistress and slave.
A man should be kept busy in the house, but not over worked. The house is still John's home as well as mine.
For the husband is should continue to be a place of santuary, not a work house.
Love, Kathy
Guilt in moderation is an acceptable feeling, and reflects a positive foundation for Your relationship with Your sub. It does give You a chance to determine if the number or complexity of the assigned tasks are fair and reasonable. Since Your goal is not constant justification for punishment, a fair and reasonable standard is good. You cannot allow lazy behavior, but set high achievable goals is good. If You do allow slippage on an evening or two, it must be Your choice, and under Your terms. One favor granted should be matched by an equal or better alternative offer. We agree with Kathy, above. Solid level of work, but not excessive. Leaving something go on a weeknight could require completion of the task by Saturday, put a bonus task. For us, sissy maid kay is now older and slower, but she still has tasks and a schedule. I have just adjusted her time requirements.
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