Since we've reinstated our FLR, I've been trying to be very attentive to the whole "taking control thing." I think I've mentioned before that while I am a naturally dominant woman, it's difficult for me to allow that dominance to come through. Like a lot of woman I grew up hearing, "nice girls don't do that", and "oh.. honey, you can't tell a man what to do, he'll resent it." And of course there is an overwhelming amount of tv, literature and what-have-you that shows women to be either submissive to their man, or manipulating him to get what she wants. Rarely do you see a dominant woman who is straightforward and open about what she wants or expecting her man to submit to her,
Even at urm.. um..... 40something.... I still struggle with this early "programming." But... I Like being in control. I always have. It's sexy to see a guy submit to his lady for no other reason than he is her man.
During our FLR break we were both miserable. My Knight was depressed. He felt like I no longer wanted him around at all. I was grumpy and unhappy because I felt like I was stuck doing everything for everybody again, with no help. We have a big family. There is a LOT of work to be done around here, and without guidance and instruction my Knight has a difficult time figuring out what needs his attention first. Now that we're back to FLR, I think we're both finding our equilibrium again.
Early last week I told my Knight that he was doing a good job getting back into the swing of FLR, and that I was happy with his efforts. I told him he'd earned some time with the mint massage oil. I make my own massage oils in various scents depending on purpose. My Knight enjoys being on the giving and receiving end of all of them, but he particularly likes the mint. I don't use it often, but when I do he knows he's being rewarded for something. I planned the mint massage for Thursday evening..... the same night we took our dog to the animal emergency room. So, obviously our time had to be postponed. Things finally calmed down enough last night that I felt up to giving my Knight a bit of focused minty attention. It was awkward, and my Knight seemed a little withdrawn and hesitant- not at all as focused and responsive as he usually is during such massage times. Probably because it's been a couple months since we've had anything but simple vanilla sex. But, even so I enjoyed teasing and playing, both of us knowing full well that I was not going to let him release. As I was getting ready to end the massage and tell him it was time to sleep, my Knight hesitantly turned the tables, bringing me to several strong orgasms. We fell asleep feeling closer than we have since I suspended the FLR a few months ago. Today, he's done everything I expected of him, even completing the list I texted to him before I went on-stage for my orchestra concert. I've missed this... and I hope it doesn't take us long to get fully back into the swing of things.