Monday, August 4, 2014

It Was Busy Weekend.

We have been running almost non-stop since Friday morning. It was a fun and productive weekend, but I'm glad it's Monday.

My knight had a problem on Saturday. Nothing major, but annoying nonetheless. Nutshell version, he tried to be proactive and help with a chore, but didn't have enough information to actually do the job. His "help" added 3 hours of work to my schedule today.  Yes, I could have HIM fix his mistake, and many of you would say that is exactly what I should do. But, his time after work is limited and I need him to spend his chore time doing something else - something that I can not do myself.  If I required it, my knight would happily stay up tonight to fix his mistake. I am not requiring it, simply because that is not in my, nor his best interests. So.. I'm taking the simple route and doing it myself.  Knight has, however been reminded that he should send me a text to ask before undertaking chores that are not on his list.  (I was out with our daughter at the time.. my knight had a chore/project list to work on while I was gone)

But. the positive side of this, is that we were able to talk about and explore the reasons for his actions, and the reasons for my irritation when he tries to do something and messes it up. We looked at why my knight takes on projects that he knows I don't want him touching, and we talked a lot about why he tends to self sabotage when it comes to our flr, and our relationship in general. It was insightful for both of us. And I think the discussion may go a long way to helping solve some of our flr struggles. .. time will tell.

We spent Sunday with my in-laws. We have lived on the other side of the country from them for our entire marriage. Since the cross country move, we are 4 hours away. In the last 4 months, we've made the trip 3 times, so "dealing with the in-laws" is a new issue for us. I have not addressed how my husband should act with me when we are around his family. He knows his family much better than I do, so I told him to "do whatever won't cause problems."  I'm proud of my knight. He has not tried to act any differently around his dad and step-mom. He doesn't really care what they think, as long as they are respectful to me and the kids. And, they have been. Things are a little awkward, because we all just met for the first time 2 months ago. I don't know what to make of his step mom, and I don't think she knows what to make of me. My husband and his dad's side of the family have not seen each other at all in about 20 years because of military careers and location. So things would be awkward even without the flr component to our marriage. But.. my knight seems very comfortable with our circumstances even around his dad and stepmom

2 comments:

  1. Angelique, the 'tone' of this and your previous post is so much different than the ones before you took your blog-break. I am so happy for you and you Knight. As I read this post I thought, "at least he is trying to do things for her, rather than shirk responsibility. Maybe he is thinking if he can get this chore done it will make his wife's life a bit easier and less chaotic." Now that may not be at all what he was thinking and maybe he wanted to do 'your' chore instead of tending to those on his list but regardless, the feel that you convey is so different than that of 6-8 months ago when you seemed so exasperated with your flr.

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    1. You're right. Things are different now. My knight is more relaxed, and more willing to talk about things when difficulties arise. It might be the move, or the new job, or something else entirely, but he is more willing to talk to me, and more willing to admit when he's having difficulties. I was really impressed when he finally admitted that he still has a hard time trusting me, or even trusting himself sometimes, and that lack of trust was the root of our issues. Things are easier now.

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