We had a nice Thanksgiving holiday. My oldest daughter came home on Weds, she's leaving to go back to school and work tomorrow morning. An old friend came down to join my family for the holiday. I haven't seen her in 20 some odd years. It was great to spend the day catching up. Daughter number 2 joined us for part of the day via video chat technology. It's been a pleasant week.
As usual during such times I've been struggling to maintain the level of flr that knight seems to need. When things are going well, it's a challenge for me to focus on maintaining that show of power that he needs. If things are going well, and knight is caught up on his tasks, what is there for me to show? I know that kind of thinking is what gets us into trouble, and I'm working on it. I'm just not sure how to best remind him of the power dynamic when things are going well.
For his part, knight is doing well right now, although he's been a little distant over the last day or so. I think he's feeling the lack of obvious power play. I'd like to come up with something we can do tonight after the kids go to bed, but it's not likely to happen. We all have to leave the house tomorrow morning at 4 to get oldest daughter to the airport for her flight. He's going to have to wait until tomorrow evening.
Knight has been completing his tasks, and doing as I ask. On Thanksgiving Day knight took over in the kitchen, and entertained her son so my friend and I could spend some time talking and catching up. He did this without my having to ask. Yesterday knight was unsure of what I wanted from him at one particular moment. It was obvious to all of us that he was struggling.. but, he turned to me and very plainly told me "I don't know what you want me to do right now." I told him and he went off to do it. Oldest Daughter looked at me a little funny, but didn't say anything, and she and I went back t what we were doing. I was proud of my knight for clearly telling me that he was unsure instead of flipping from task to task like he sometimes does.
Even though I've been careful to give knight detailed instructions while Oldest Daughter has been here, I get the very definite impression that he wants more overt control from me. I'm still learning how to give him what he's looking for.