Thursday, November 3, 2011

He's Not The Only One Who Has to Learn

For the first year of so of our relationship my knight thanked me every time after every single orgasm. In my, more traditional experience, that was weird, and I eventually asked him to stop. I also thought it was odd when he commented that he believed if he didn't get laid it was because he probably didn't "deserve it." He mentioned having to "earn sex" more than once.

Yeah.. he dropped a lot of hints as to what he wanted from me, didn't he.

So.. now that we've (finally) agreed to this female led marriage arrangement, I need to readjust my thinking a bit. I've always been into seeing him happy. My knight has always gone out of his way to do things for me and to see to my comfort. I'm starting to understand that the times he has not done so was most likely a lack of understanding as to what would make me happy or comfortable.

In the past, I have often gotten into the habit of taking care of him sexually while ignoring my own desires. Mostly because my knight's emotional needs are very closely tied to how physically close we are. If I don't touch him as I walk by, or if I sit apart from him on the couch, he assumes I am somehow unhappy with him.

But, with this new arrangement I am seeing that I need to take a greater control in the bedroom and give him opportunities to earn his release, maybe even bring back his inclination to thank me after sex to underline the point that I am in control of when and if he releases. There have been several times recently, and in fact he gets into the habit of, forgetting to make sure I orgasm at least once before he does. It's been an ongoing challenge between us. He'll put me first for months and then all of a sudden my needs seem completely non existent to him. That continues until I just stop having sex with him because it has become an exercise in frustration.

I won't let that happen anymore. I told him this morning that I want to start teaching him about tantric sex. We've discussed it a couple of times, but never really put any effort into it. Mostly because of lack of effort on his part.This time will be different. I've known a couple of guys who become multi-orgasmic using tantric methods. I want that for him. I want that for us.  I also want him to pay more attention to the fact that I if I don't orgasm at least twice I'm just not satisfied.

 Yes, my sweet knight, this will be a learning experience for us both.




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