It's been about two years since I've posted here. Some things change.... most stay the same.
Last we talked, knight was having memory problems and we had no real idea why. Those memory problems were causing real trouble in our marriage. We were going back and forth about FLR, because he would tell me that he wanted FLR, but then would "forget" what he was supposed to do, would talk back constantly, and a couple times even forgot that he asked for FLR in the first place. I backed off of the FLR, and he became angry, upset, depressed, insisted that I didn't want him around. Talking revealed that he felt neglected because I had dropped the FLR aspect of our marriage. At those times he had no memory of asking me to back off.
We were on a constant roller coaster and I couldn't deal with it anymore.
I put my foot down and told him that if he wanted to stay married he would go to a doctor and follow through on any and all diagnostic procedures. I told him that while he was under medical evaluation he would stick to the FLR.
He did both. In fact, he's been faithfully keeping medical appointments ever since. But, we're no closer to knowing what's going on, or understanding why he has memory loss than we were two years ago. As for the FLR aspect, it's been off and on, but mostly on. For the past year, all slips toward 50/50 have been my doing, not his. In fact, over the past year, knight has been slowly and steadily asking me for more control, more direction and stronger leadership.
In the last two years, doctors have tested for, ruled out, prescribed medication for, and even flatly diagnosed multiple medical issues --- including:
Depression --knight is prone to episodes of depression. He does not want to take meds for it, and the doctors we've discussed it with agree he probably doesn't need medication. I'm aware that depression can cause memory loss, but after several consultations, the doctors don't believe that depression is causing Knight's memory loss. Therapist didn't think he needed weekly visits.
A variety of mental Illnesses ---He was evaluated for multiple mental illnesses, and all is good there.
Anxiety -Yes, he has some anxiety. Again, he doesn't want to take meds for it, and our doctors agree. They also say that knight's anxiety is not intense enough to cause memory loss.
Seizures --One of our local doctors insists that knight is having seizures. He made this diagnosis with absolutely NO brain wave testing. Doc claims (rightfully so) that atypical seizures are difficult to catch, even with a recent EEG. In order to make a solid DX, you have to "catch" a seizure on a walking EEG machine. And, since atypical seizures are unpredictable, that's really difficult. This neurologist insisted on putting knight on Depakote. Knight was completely against taking the med, but I asked him to give it a one to two month trial period. He did. The Depakote made things worse.. not better. When we went back to the doctor for follow up, he insisted on doubling the dose. We got a second opinion because I very much disagreed with the seizure dx, and protested the idea of doubling the Depakote dose. The second neurologist backed me up, and we stopped the drug completely. The second neurologist also disagrees with the idea of seizures.
Alzheimer's and several other forms of Dementia -- this was the scariest. We ended up in the emergency room because knight lost several days worth of time and became verbally combative with me. Something about his actions, words and general demeanor made me nervous. I wasn't afraid of him, I was concerned that something was *really, seriously wrong* Sometimes you just instinctively KNOW that something is *wrong* Like that. I didn't know what else to do, so I convinced him to go to the ER with me. The ER doc talked to us for about 10 minutes, and then told me that my husband has Alzheimer's. Then I was informed that Alzheimer's is not an emergency, and I had no reason to be in the ER. They gave me a stack of info on Alzheimer's and wished me luck. On the ER follow up with our regular doctor, I demanded both a CT scan and an MRI. The tests ruled OUT Alzheimer's and several other forms of dementia.
Brain tumor --- MRI and CT scan ruled these out. There is nothing structurally wrong with his brain.
Nutritional Deficiencies -- Nope.. all mostly good there.
Infections --Blood work good.
Doctors have determined that there is no traceable medical reason why he is having these memory lapses. However, two of the doctors involved in knight's care have SEEN and experienced knight having memory problems, and there is absolutely no doubt that it's happening.
His supervisor at work along with other employees have also experienced Knight's memory loss. It was effecting his work enough that he ended up having to confide in his immediate supervisor in order to avoid getting fired.
That left us with wondering.. what next.
My whole reason for insisting on medical evaluation was in the hopes that we would find an obvious medical cause for the memory loss, outbursts and personality changes. That didn't happen, and knight was getting tired of being a science experiment. When the MRI came back normal in January of this year, knight asked me if we could stop the medical appointments for a while. Since we were no closer to an answer than we were when we started this, I agreed.
None of this has much to do with flr directly, until you consider all the issues he and I have had over the years.