His first response? "Next week? But that's a long time!"
Hm.. At the point he said this it had only been 4 days for him, so I didn't have much sympathy. But, something in his tone told me he was questioning the whole tease and denial thing. So, we spent the last two days talking about it. While we were talking it out I made it clear that I expect him to keep to the agreement unless I tell him it's okay.
During our discussions I asked my Knight why he had the sudden change of heart --up until he day before he was enjoying our little game. His answer was simple, "I don't want to go without."
I pointed out that he's not "going without." In reality I play with him a lot more now than I did before I started tease and denial. At least three days a week I sneak into our room while he's asleep to wake him up and play for a few minutes. I bring him to the edge once or twice and then get up and tell him to go back to sleep.
I also told him that it's not about me denying him. I *like* watching him come. It's about teaching him never to release without my permission. Ever. If he comes twice day or twice a month, or every 2 months, that's up to me. He has no say in the matter. It's also about building the connection between us. Besides, I reminded him, he agreed to this months ago when we wrote out our FLR rules agreement. He agreed to:
- "never masturbate without (my) permission" and to
- "Allow (me) to control all (his) orgasms - (he) is (my) sex toy."
Neglecting to warn me when we're to close is not allowing me full control.
Then I told him he'd just have to trust me.
I told him that he didn't have to give me an answer right away, to think about it and decide what he really wants. I told him if he wanted to back out of the tease and denial thing it was okay.
I told him that his actions later would tell me what he'd decided.
And he did. My Knight was super good about warning me when we got to close to that edge and he didn't complain.
I'm happy with his decision and as a reward I told him to go out and buy me a new toy tonight. I'm going to put a camera in his hands and let him take pictures while I play with my new toy.
There are benefits to complying.
A homeschool mom with some kink..... I love it! Added you to my blog list so I can follow you and your husbands story. I do wish you well and it is so interesting to see how you've come along - read each and every post you wrote.
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