Tuesday, January 31, 2012

How Open Are You?

Locked Husband has a poll up asking the guys if anyone other than their wives knows they're locked. While I don't lock my Knight, the question got me thinking about FLR, in general. Have you shared your FLR or D/s status with close friends or family? Is it obvious from the way you two interact in public that she's in charge? Guys, do you change how you react to your lady when you're out? How do you feel about your male friends knowing you submit to her? Does it matter? Do they hassle you about it? How does your lady feel about people knowing your dynamic? I'm curious.

As for us, when we're out my Knight doesn't change his behavior. He still defers to me, looks to me for confirmation and approval when needed. He's even been known to look at me for approval before helping women at church carry things. No words between us are needed --Just a glance in my direction and a barely visible nod from me. He's even asked me, “Do you want me to help her?” I never mind.. actually I'm proud that it's MY husband who has the reputation for being the sweetie who helps out.

It's been that way since Day 1. Friends who have known us for years come to me if they need technical help from my Knight. His best friend has been known to call me and ask, “Hey, can I borrow him for something?” Heck even people who have only known us a short time must pick up on our dynamic because many of those people come to me if they want a favor from him. It's just the natural order for us, I guess, even though it took me so long to realize it. Our kids even pick up on it – I get asked 10 times a day, “Mommy, can Daddy play (any game) with us?” or “Can Daddy help me with this?” It never occurred to me just how much FLR permeates our life.

I think friends and many acquaintances understood his “submission” to me before I did. Even my mother said something to me years ago. She and I are not close, and talk fairly infrequently, we see each other even less. But, she was at visiting us one day about 5 years ago and made the comment that I shouldn't let him do so much for me because he'd resent it. I think that was the 2nd time she'd met my Knight.

Those of you who have read my past posts know that I wasn't looking for a FLR, heck I just learned the term a few months ago! Before FLR my typical response was.. “What are you looking at me for. Make up your own mind,” or, “Do what you want, baby.”

Sometimes I wonder what the people who suspect say about us behind our backs, but people will always talk. And as long as he and I are comfortable with our dynamic, nothing else really matters.


  1. Mistress R and I aren't in an FLR as such, we are equals outside the bedroom so it doesn't really come up.

  2. Katie an I have discussed telling others but she likes it just the way it is. If people ask questions she deals with it but would never use words like domme and sub to describe how we relate. I personally would like others to know but I think her way of thinking is best for now.

  3. Thanks for the mention! Our FLR is fairly tame, and not something we share with others (not unlike my wearing a device). I think the kids see it a bit, but not in a very obvious way.



Knight has a thing for body piercings. I have a couple piercings that he gets to play with and take photos of when he's been really good...