I sent my Knight a copy of my recent blog post and told him the community here had lots of suggestions and I'd like to hear his.
At first he said that all he really wants from this is more time for "Us", because he never feels like we have enough time alone, and more writing time when possible.
I knew that already.
I tried to explain that he was talking about "life goals" and I was talking about "lifeSTYLE" goals. Not the samet thing. I reminded him that he still has a writing assignment due to me about what he wants from the FLR.. what he needs from it emotionally and where his fantasies want to see it go.
Then he asked me what the suggestions here were. And I boiled it down to, 1. find ways to remind him in everything we do that he belongs to me, 2. shock the hell out of him and push our "typical limits" until he starts forming opinions.
His response?? "IS there anything past our typical limits?"
Hmm.. I kind of take that as a dare. We live a pretty vanilla life as far as FLR goes. I have not, up to this point, put any real demands on him outside of orgasm denial and having him take over certain household tasks. I make all the financial decisions and I organize and determine his schedule. But in reality, I've been doing those things to one degree or another since we got together. There has never really been any question as to who is running things here. I took over, and he gave me that control the day we moved in together. That was 8 years ago. The real changes over the past month have been mostly in me. I had to come to realize and understand that my Knight is submissive and I needed to overcome my "programming" that it was wrong to be a dominant woman.
So.. back to our conversation.We spent several hours back and forth through email and I've come to the conclusion that my Knight really, truly is not sure where his submissive limits lie. He's never openly gone down this road before and even though being submissive is simply his personality he's not given it much thought. But he does want to see where this road leads for him and for us. So, I will follow I'm Hers' suggestion and start with small requirements that remind him constantly throughout his day that he belongs to me entirely.
I do love my Knight, and I love the changes I see in him when I am a strong leader. He is more attentive, a better husband and a better father. And most importantly, he seems happier, more content and more confident in himself. I want to nurture that happiness, contentment, and confidence.