So.. my 17 yr old daughter brought home her first boyfriend right before Thanksgiving. He's a sweet kid, 16 yrs old, fawning all over himself trying to impress me. Did I mention this kid is my daughter's first boyfriend? In fact, he is the first guy she's ever shown any interest in at all. He is spending a lot of time at our house, and so I've gotten a first hand look at how he treats her...or rather.. how he treats her when I'm around. He opens doors, carries things, moves to complete tasks that I ask her to do, looks to her before getting involved with video or card games with my sons. When they go out, he asks her to choose where they go, and she drives. My daughter tells me that he actually tones down the amount of hovering, and direction seeking he does when I'm around. She says it's "worse when it's just the two" of them.
My oldest daughter is away at college and met the boyfriend a few days ago. One of the first thing my eldest noticed is that the boyfriend treats my daughter much the same way Knight treats me. "Wow. He is a lot like 'Knight'."
Yep. he is.
My Knight sees it, too. He asked me one evening if I am comfortable with daughter's relationship. When I asked him what cause I would have not to be comfortable with it his answer was, "because.. he's a lot like me. As she learns to handle him, she's going to gain insight into me. Into our arrangement."
Yep. she is. And that's okay. Really, it's no secret that I'm in charge around here. The kids know Mom's in charge. Granted, we've never talked about it to them, but we don't hide it, either. They know we make a lot of decisions together, but I have final say on everything.
I'm surprised that Daughter is dating a guy so much like her step-dad. They are not particularly close. They get along well, and Daughter loves and respects him, but she also does not always approve of me leading my Knight and letting him do things for me that I am perfectly capable of doing myself. She has even said, she'd never date a guy who hovers and fawns over her like her step-dad does me. "It's annoying, " she said. "It makes me uncomfortable," she's told me.
And yet... here she is dating this guy.. coming to me for suggestions on how to guide him just a bit. She is loving the attention he showers on her, even if it really does still make her a little uncomfortable.
She says she's getting used to it.
As for me... I'm glad she's made this guy her first boyfriend. He's going to spoil her for other guys and she will become accustomed to being treated like the rare treasure she is.