SH suggested I buy and read Around Her Finger By Ken Addison. That book has been on my "To Read" list for about a year. Yesterday I downloaded the book. It's only 157 pages, and I was able to read through it over the course of the afternoon in between other tasks.
It's well written and explains the basics of FLM fairly well. I don't know that I learned anything new, but I've been reading and researching FLR for two years now.
That said, reading the book did point out to me why we keep coming back to the same issues. Like I said the other day, things fall apart when we get super busy, or when we fall into a routine. Both are times when I tend to run on autopilot. I think my Knight feels ignored during those time, too.
In the future I need to watch myself so that I don't fall into autopilot. I think I also need to build several small, sexually charged elements into our day so that if(when) I do go into autopilot, those elements are built into our routine to remind me not to allow autopilot to happen.
Thanks SH. It's going to take some time, care and attention on my part, but I know it's worth it. We sustained a pretty good FLR for about a year before I let self-doubt convince me my Knight hated the arrangement. I know now that I was wrong.. I thought he was unhappy with FLR, but really he was having a hard time coming to terms with the idea that he liked the dynamic.