Yep.. I'm a day late on the Christmas wishes. Things around here are ridiculously busy between Thanksgiving and New Year. We've wrapped up things for 2012, and I'm preparing for the beginning of 2013. In the last two weeks, I've mapped out my goals for both my work, and my Knight's writing. I've decided he needs to take his writing more seriously in 2013 and double his number of published stories from last year. As for me, I have a book due to be finished by March, so the first part of 2013 will be filled with research and writing.
As for our flr, we're still struggling with the same crap, just to a lesser degree. It's annoying and frustrating and if my Knight isn't careful he's going to see a whole different side of me. Or rather.. he'll see a side he's seen before, but in a totally new way.
What's the issue? More of the same..my Knight not following instructions in small, annoying, ways, and then saying I wasn't clear.
Examples? Sometime late last week a light bulb in the kitchen blew. I told my Knight, "I need you to change this bulb sometime before we go to bed. Don't do it right now, because I'm cooking dinner and we'll be in each others way." The light is high up on the ceiling requiring the step ladder be placed smack in the middle of our small kitchen. Not something he can do when I'm making dinner. Simple right? Yeah. Not so much. As of yesterday it was still undone. I needed that light yesterday to see to carve the turkey. So, I grabbed the step ladder and started doing it myself. He picked me up off the step ladder. "What are you doing?" I told him.... what's it look like I'm doing? I'm changing the bulb because you didn't bother.... he said something about me not telling him when to do it, and then changed the bulb himself. It shouldn't have even been an issue... the bulb should have been changed the day I asked. Or the next day at the absolute latest
Another example.. we were discussing two particular Christmas presents for our boys. We looked at one on-line together I noticed it took AAA batteries and reminded my Knight to pick some up while he was out shopping for the gifts. He had a list of gifts and the words, "whatever batteries are needed for X and Y" Well.. he got the AAA batteries for gift X, but he didn't bother to read the package of gift Y to see what kind of batteries that one needed. On Christmas Eve.. while wrapping gift Y I discovered we needed two 9volt batteries for gift Y. I asked my Knight where they were. His answer? "you never told me to get 9volts, only AAA." Um.. NO. I said get batteries for the gifts.
There are several examples over the last week or three of similar instances of him doing what I ask, but not doing it completely, or being careless about when and/or how it gets done. If he's going to act this way, I might as well do everything myself.
And then there are the two "oops it snuck up on me" moments. Yeah. right. I don't buy it for a moment. It is his responsibility to warn me when he gets to close to orgasm. Our standing rule requires that he not orgasm without my permission. Just period. It's his responsibility to follow that rule and to warn me when necessary. That's twice now that he hasn't given warning and.. "oops." The first time was 2 weeks ago.. penalty? no cock play for 2 weeks. That 2 week was up yesterday... another "oops"
Too bad for him, too. Because today is his birthday and I had several tease sessions planned for today. He misses out on those.
Just lots of little stuff......... and my typical methods of disciplining him are just not making a difference.
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Incentive..
Knight has a thing for body piercings. I have a couple piercings that he gets to play with and take photos of when he's been really good...
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Knight has a thing for body piercings. I have a couple piercings that he gets to play with and take photos of when he's been really good...
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I told Knight that in order for me to put any more energy or effort into our marriage he MUST: see a doctor to find out why he's havin...
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Over the weekend my Knight and I were talking some more about FLR details.. you know.. where he wants to see this go.. how far he's look...
Angelique,
ReplyDeleteI don't know why but as I was reading your post I remembered picking my son up from Marine Corp basic training in Paris Island several years ago. I remember him in the car with me looking for a place to park. I started to park on the grass. Fear eminated from him when I did. "Dad, you can't do this," he said and made me look elsewhere. He was scared. He know the repercussions from his staff sargent. He hated them. He respected them. But he was deathly afraid of them. Maybe you need to institute some fear into your Knight's life for things not done properly.
I remember a teacher of mine telling me, punishment is a much more powerful motivator than reward. How right he was.
Sleeping in a cage. Sleeping without covers. Sleeping on the floor. Corner time. Kneeling on a wood floor. Moving a bucket of dirt or stone from this end of the drive to that end and then do it again a 1000 times..... it doesn't take much rocket science to get a point across that way.
Have a wonderful holiday and btw... it's my birthday too today!
First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
DeleteYou might have a point. I'm not much on the whole punishment thing. I pretty much feel that my Knight should do what is required of him simply because I'm the one who requires it. But I'm starting to wonder if punishment is something he needs on some level. My Knight and I have been talking about his recent behavior and he thinks he's falling into a depression. It happens... he's cycled in and out of minor depression for as long as I've known him. Over the years I've learned that if I can get him to take control of his thinking and focus on what I want from him, the depression fades.
Today I reminded him that when he's feeling down he's supposed to focus on my needs, and what I require of him and block out everything else. Nothing and nobody else matters except what I want from him. We'll see if it helps. For the first time I am seriously considering some sort of punishment in order to help him stay focused on what's important to him. (that is.. what I want and need from him).
As we go through these cycles under the flr the more I believe that my Knight's depression is somehow related to his submissive needs. The more demanding I am with him, the less likely he seems to fall into his depressions.
I don't understand it. But then, I'm still learning to understand the submissive mind.
He's testing you, time to step up the punishments. It is what he actually wants/asking you for by doing this
ReplyDeleteAlthough this is my first comment, I have been a long time reader of your blog. I am a submissive husband kept in chastity and though I can't read your guy's mind, I will try to give you my 2 cents based on my own experiences. He definitely suffers from a lack of motivation to do what he KNOWS he should do. He is not focusing on serving you which means he is focusing on his himself.
ReplyDeleteFirst, you must ramp up the orgasm denial. It takes 2-3 weeks chaste for me to get into mindset of "what should I be doing for her". I'm an older guy (fiftyish), so I suspect he may get in that mode sooner if he is younger. I don't know if you use a chastity device or not, but maybe you should be. Find some way he can satisfy you completely without use of his penis. Have him please you orally, have him wear a strap-on, use a hitachi wand, whatever it takes to completely satisfy you without him being able to orgasm. This will lessen the chance you will give in to his begging for an orgasm and he will beg if he is in real denial. He won't admit it, but I suspect he is having more releases that just the ones you permit. You have to teach him that the way to an orgasm is by focusing on your needs, following your directions, and being obedient.
I think you have mentioned it before, but making lists works great. You should not have to make them, let him do it. Tell him immediately write down anything you tell him to do and cross it off when he completes it. Keep the list in a prominent place so itcan be seen. Also helpful is, once a week or so, to sit down with him and have performance review. Praise him for the good and correct him for anything not up to par.
Overall, I think that you will find that, once you are practicing real orgasm denial and he is not able to take matters into his own hands, so to speak, you will be surprised how fast things fall into line. You would be surprised how resourceful guys can be when it comes to sneaking in a little masturbation session when the spouse is otherwise occupied. Simply telling him not to just doesn't cut it. Yes, it is weakness on our part but it is what it is. Nothing kills the motivation to serve more than the post orgasm let down. Good Luck and Happy New Year!
I also suspect that he may be getting some on his own, but it might also be that he is craving attention.
ReplyDeleteWhen instead of being "denied" (used to please Miss V and then left to dry) I feel "ignored" (just no sexual activity whatsoever) I tend to feel depressed.
Negative attention is better than no attention, so if your sub is acting up because he wants attention, give him nto the attention he wants, but the one he needs, which is punishment. I wish my very own Miss V would punish me more, because when she does, it is heaven and it makes me forget all my troubles.