2103 is the year for me to learn to lead intentionally. In my last post I mentioned that for January my goals are to be more specific in my instructions to my Knight, and to find three times each day where I can be more flirty with him.
So far I think I've done a good job being specific in my instructions and in giving my Knight deadlines on each list item. Unfortunately, my Knight has been less than observant of those deadlines, and has been ignoring his weekly task review requirement. The writing assignment which I mentioned in my last post still remains uncompleted, despite my giving extra writing time, and new deadlines. I will admit that I am pretty upset with my Knight over this. The writing assignment was a lead in to our monthly goal review, which I have now had to postpone twice because my Knight did not do the writing assignment. I want the writing done before the goal review so that my Knight has some clue what he wants to say when we talk. I absolutely hate it when I ask my Knight how a particular rule is or is not working for him and he answers with, "I don't know. It's the rule, what's there to say?" He does it a lot. My feeling is that if he's not going to participate in the discussion, then why should I bother. For me to be content with the FLR, my Knight needs to be an active participant in the relationship. To me that means KNOWING how he feels, (even if he doesn't understand why), and sharing those feelings with me.
Even though I'm being more specific and giving hard deadlines of when I expect my Knight to complete tasks, he's been stretching those deadlines on things other than writing, too. For example, the other day told my Knight I needed him to bring in a file cabinet from the garage, and move it into my office. Three days after the deadline, the job was still not done. Once again I had to make the move to do it myself before he even started the job.
I don't get it.
As for the goal for being more flirty.. I have to say I've probably failed here just a bit. When I am discontented with my Knight I tend to be less touchy-feely. Since I've been irritated with him for not doing the writing assignment, I've not really wanted to spend the energy flirting or teasing him. So, no I have not met that second goal. I've tried.... but I feel that if he won't put forth the effort to complete assignments on time, then why should I go out of my way to be more flirty than usual? There have been no real tease sessions since he missed the writing deadline for the same reasons. Yes, there has been a little bit of cock play, but nothing out of our ordinary.
Obviously I am missing something here. But, I have no idea what that is. I know several of you will suggest that I resort to corporal punishment when my Knight breaks the rules, but that is not going to happen. I have absolutely no interest in going there. I don't even have any interest in non-corporal punishment. I feel that my Knight should follow the rules, and meet my requests simply because these are my wishes. He agreed to be submissive to me.... to follow my lead, and my rules where ever they may lead us. So.. he should DO that.
We've been doing this for over a year... and I still don't understand him. It's not that I'm not trying, though. I do try to understand what he wants and needs from FLR. But when he won't talk to me, and won't complete writing assignments, what am I supposed to do?