Wednesday, July 17, 2013

A Reward

After the kids went to bed last night, I noticed my knight was sort withdrawn and sort of irritable - not with me, but irritable with himself. Earlier he dropped the keyboard to the kids' computer. The wire somehow got wrapped around his leg while he was using the computer. There was an odd noise upstairs that sounded like a kid falling out of bed, and I asked my knight to go check it out. When he stood up the keyboard went crashing to the ground. The floor in our den is concrete. Beautifully painted concrete, but concrete nonetheless.  Of course, things things tend to break when they hit concrete from waist high. Keyboard to the kids' computer is toast. Like most geek families, we have a stash of extra computer parts "just in case, " so replacing the keyboard is no big deal, but my knight was beating himself up over it.  I asked my knight several times what was bothering him. He's hard on himself, but usually, if I tell him I don't think something is a big deal, he drops it and moves on. Not so, last night.

After talking to him several times and getting nowhere, I called bedtime. After we got undressed and into bed, he tried to stick to "his side"of the bed. Yet another indication that something was bothering him. I put my arm under him and rolled him over toward me. "You're too far away. Get over here where you belong."

He complied and laid his head on my chest. Rubbing his back and shoulders, I ask him again what was wrong. "Why do you keep asking me that? I'm fine." He flipped over on his back, saying his neck was bothering him.  So, I rolled over with him and settled on top of him.

"You've been antsy, grouchy, and irritable all night. Don't tell me you're fine. What's going on in your head?" I demanded of him.

He was very quiet and very still for about 10 minutes. Then, finally, "Are you mad at me?"

I pulled back a little so I could look him in the eyes, "No.. why would I be?"

"I screwed up our evening. You wanted to curl up with a movie, but I didn't get my writing done in time for us do do that."

"Um.. no, you didn't. You finished everything on your list.. including 100 words more than I asked for on your WIP. You did just fine."

"But, you wanted to curl up with a movie."

"Your list got done. That's what's important. Besides, when did I say I wanted to watch a movie tonight?"

"I dunno. You wanted to curl up with a movie last night, and I screwed that up, too."

"Eh.. no really, no. We just didn't have time. I never said it was a big deal."

Several minutes passed before he very quietly said, "So, you're not mad at me?"

I leaned down, kissed him and let my hands wander over his body.  That turned into several pretty good orgasms for me. He's still under "no chance of coming" until mid August as a result of his dice roll the other day, so he figured that was the end of things. He settled down in my arms to cuddle and go to sleep. I grabbed the bottle of cinnamon oil that I keep next to to the bed and flipped him over on his back. He was already jumpy from his attentions to me, and he just about jumped out of his skin when I touched his cock with my oily hands.  For the next 90 minutes or so he squirmed, jumped and moaned while I brought him to the edge and back down over and over again. He was oblivious to anything other than what I was doing to him. Finally, when I thought he'd had about all he could handle, I started bringing him back down slowly.  He curled up in my arms peaceful and content.

This morning, I sent him an email saying that I was proud of him for finally telling him what was bothering him last night, and that the long tease session was his reward for talking to me.

4 comments:

  1. This sounds like a little progress. Bravo.

    knight may need a lot of positive reinforcement until he overcomes his memories of his prior marriage. Mistress Barabra used a lot of positive words during our initial couple of years. Even the smallest of things would get a positive word. When I messed up, there was no doubt of my failure, but there was a lot of poisitive stuff. Maybe that will help.

    You are make your FLR work for you. No one can ask for more than that.

    sissy maid k

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  2. I would think that there would be a good teaching opportunity in at some point soon dealing with him telling you 'I'm fine" when in reality he wasn't fine. He was bothered but didn't feel like telling you. I remember being this way and hopefully having lots more talks like you had with him will help alleviate that 'untrue' response in the future.

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  3. Awww... how sweet that it bothered him so much!

    The lovely thing about a FLR is that he can always trust your feelings to be made explicit - whether paddling or edging. He's probably not used to this much forthrightness from the fairer sex, or with expressing his feelings this openly, so this must be a learning experience for him. It sounds like a beautiful process for both of you.

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  4. "He curled up in my arms peaceful and content." I think I could conclude, as an avid reader of your blog, that he did not do that just too often with his first wife. His actions speak volumes about his feelings.
    I really admire you and your determination, but I do not believe that I would be able to keep up with your lead in a relationship. He is, but in his own way, that is slowly, but consistently, yielding to your lead in the relationship.
    I am enjoying, loving, savoring, (can't find a strong enough word) my third month of joy after fully surrendering myself to my wonderful wife of thirty nine years, who has assumed control of all parts of our lives, and yes, I mean all. A full turnaround. We had tried something similar about twelve years ago out of necessity while rebuilding our home with her as the general contractor and me as the laborer, but the very efficient system faded away into almost the same thing as what you described in your opening post. We just didn't know. As a couple, we were missing key elements of the relationship dynamics and were not aware of what they were and where to learn about them. What a difference today!
    In reading about your lives, many times I can almost imagine myself in his position of just being happy, content, and fulfilled in following a strong, confident woman. What a pleasure! But please, do I have to analyze every thought I have? Oh well, that's what she wants.
    Also I can't finish this without saying just how wonderful it to look into my wife's warm loving blue eyes one moment and then see them turn to cool, firm, grey resolve, right in front of me. Awesome.

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