Wednesday, March 11, 2015

His Punishment

I gave his punishment a lot of thought. I wanted to make the absolute point that his behavior was completely unacceptable. I wanted him to understand exactly how much he's upset me over the last several months. I wanted him to see the displeasure in my eyes, and feel it in my body. I wanted there to absolutely no misunderstanding that I was unhappy with him. I also wanted him to understand exactly what he did wrong, and more importantly how he should handle it in the future.

I thought long and hard about tying him to that hook I had him install in our room last night and taking a padded golf golf club handle to his bare ass. In fact, I wrote over 2000 words about how I was going to make him strip for me, blindfold, and then tie him to that hook. I went into great detail about how I would tease him until he was hard and dripping, and then take the blindfold off and put a mirror in front of him so he had to watch me beat his ass in the mirror. In the story, I gave him 10 good, hard swats with the moderately padded golf club handle, and then I blindfolded him, shaved him, brought him to the edge four or five times, and then iced his cock down, and put his new chastity device on him. In my story, when that was done, I removed the blindfold once again, and took pictures of him and his new device to be posted here. Then, and only then, did I release him from his binds.

As I sat on our back porch pondering my short story, I asked myself what happened next. I wrote a few pages about how my knight reacted to the punishment, and if it helped changed his attitude, and helped him understand WHY I was upset and hurt.

It didn't.

I realized that in part, that is exactly the treatment he wants, and if I give it to him, I could be encouraging more of the same. I've decided the scene I wrote about should be used to explore wants, needs and interests, rather than as a punishment. It would serve as nothing more than fantasy play, and right now, he does not deserve fantasy play.

So, I shelved the idea for a later time.

Instead, as soon as our kids were in bed, I called an early bedtime for us. We sat on our bed, and he heard, in depth, and repeatedly exactly how he made me feel over the last few months. I pulled out every single incident when he was rude, disrespectful, whiny, unreasonable, and straight out hurtful. I told him very bluntly what I though of his actions. And then I pointed out every time I cut him a break, was understanding of how he's been feeling, tried to help him, tried to get him to talk to me, etc. Then I went back to the bad behavior. I reminded him that his self-described role in our marriage is to make my world easier, and make me happy.I continued showing him exactly how he had upset me and telling him just how far below the expected he was acting, until he was in tears. Then, I softened, and told him what I expected of him, what he could/should have done differently, I told him exactly what I needed from him, and pointed out that blindly following directions without thinking about it is being passive aggressive and that's unacceptable. When I was certain he understood the expectations, and I was certain he had no more walls to hide behind, I talked about how I knew how devastated he is by the issues with his daughter, and I pointed out that the problems started way back in January when we found out what the outcome would be. As he lay on my chest, with my arms protectively around him, I reminded him that we have these kinds of problems every time he tries to bottle up his feelings. I told him that he's fallen into another depression and has been pushing me away. His behavior, and my hurt and anger are the results of that.  I reminded him that I am here to help him cope with the tough stuff, and that he doesn't need to hide his feelings from me. At that point, he had no defenses left, and he cried for his daughter. For the first time since this mess started 7 years ago, he cried for her. He released some of the hurt, disappointment, and anger associated with the whole mess. I held him tight, and stoked him while he cried. When he was done, I made love to him, deeply and passionately. He remembered to stop me every time he got to close to coming, and he made sure I was completely and utterly satisfied after three orgasms. I held him in my arms after we were done. his straining and desperate cock against me. He settled in contentedly to go to sleep.

That's when I flipped him over on his back, and edged him. He struggled to keep from coming. Finally, I leaned in and whispered in his ear, "Come for me, my baby."  He did. He came long and hard. Afterward, I moved him so he was lying on top of me and reminded him the he belongs to me. He is mine, and I want all of him -- the good and the bad, and the in between, the boring, and the "extreme", and that I want him to hide nothing from me, because I love him and he's mine. It's also at that point that I remembered that I want him to go back to saying "thank you" after I let him come.

"You forgot something." I told him.

I felt him tense. He said very hesitantly "What?"

"I didn't have to let you come."

"I didn't expect to." He said, still hesitant and unsure.

"I know you didn't, baby. What are you supposed to say?"

He nuzzled further into me, "Thank you, babe." Then, very quietly, "I thought you were mad at me."

"Nope, I've just decided I want you to start saying thank you afterwards, again. If I knew then what I knew now, I never would have stopped it." I told him.

Unfortunately, he was mostly asleep, and had no clue what I was talking about. I told him to go back to sleep and I'd explain it later.

We settled in to sleep better than either of us have slept in weeks.

Depending  on how I feel tonight, I'm planning on tying him to that hook in our room, and taking care of the shaving he has been putting off.


5 comments:

  1. Miss Angelique, please don't think I am being disrespectful, but it seems like your never ending frustration comes from your continued hope that your husband will just "get it". You tell him things and he forgets, and you get frustrated. He doesn't do things he's supposed to do, and you get frustrated ... he does something to piss you off and you get frustrated.

    Again, I'm not trying to be disrespectful, but it's my opinion that you are the source and the cause of all of your frustration. You have the ability to be able to lead this man to where you want him to be, yet you prefer to continue to hope that he will be able to guide himself there.

    Until you are comfortable with fulfilling your obligation as a leader in your marriage, I am afraid your frustrations will continue, and things will exist for no other reason than to be a kink fulfillment for your husband.

    Please forgive me for my direct words. Again, it is not my intention to be unkind. Perhaps you and your husband are playing the wrong roles in your marriage. Perhaps he should be the one to lead and you should be the one to submit .... it just seems natural.

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  2. Considering the amout of emotional torment he has been under the past several months (and years) regarding his daughter maybe how you handled it last night was good. You brought him to tears. You didn't soften up at all until you forced him to actually FEEL and let those feelings out to share with you. You got him to cry it out which can be very enlightening for someone who keeps it all bottled up. But now that he has opened up in that way and knows very clearly what he's done wrong and what needs to change now you have to start being very strict and firm with him. Id lock him up and start using the chastity as another means to the end you want. He needs to find outlets to work through his emotions on his daughter as it wont just go away, a love for your child doesn't just go away but he needs to learn to deal while not shutting down on you and slacking in his role both as husband and sub. I hope last night was a turning point for you both.

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    1. That is exactly what I told him this morning. He's never been locked before, but I did order him a chastity device last month. I'm going lock him in it for a few hours each day for the next week before I make him wear it anytime he's away from me.

      This morning, the air between us is clear, and I know what my mistakes over the last few months have been. We brush our selves off, and start fresh.

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