After reading over my last post I think I was a little unclear. I believe our current issues with my Knight's non-compliance are more related to my lack of consistency and clarity than any real shortcoming or lack of interest on his part. This is all very new to me and sometimes I am very much less than perfect when expressing my desires to my Knight. I try, but I'm fighting years upon years of "societal programming' telling me that I "should not" dominate my partner. Except I am starting to see that is exactly what he wants. He wants me to be clear on what I expect from him, because really.. how else can he fulfill those expectations. Part of my problem is that when he comes to me at the end of the day and asks, "Babe, do you want me to finish up the dishes before I come to bed?" I almost always so no because it feels so unfair to me to "make" him stay up an extra half hour to finish dishes that I can just as easily do in the morning. Or when he says "Why don't I finish X for you while you watch a movie." .. Same thing. It feels unfair to me to send him off to complete some random task while I kick back and do nothing. I'm not built that way. I have always done my share of the work, usually I take on more than my share of the work.
I can see where it could get confusing and unclear for my Knight. On one hand, I've told him that I expect him to wash used pots and pans every single night. And then I tell him, "no, baby. I'm going to bed."
My Knight needs a clear understanding of what my expectations are for him, and I need to learn to stick to those expectations, regardless of what my "bossy sensors" are telling me. Because my husband needs clear and consistent guidelines from me.
I am going too write out a list of guidelines and expectations for both myself and my Knight to refer to. That way, when he is tempted to ask me, "Should I do X or Y?" , we can both look at the predetermined list and see where his question fits into my established expectations.