Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Moving Things Forward?.....Maybe

I'm thinking about adding a little fantasy play to our life. My Knight and I have always talked about our fantasies, sometimes I write out fantasy scenes for him, other times I've started writing a scene and handed it off to him to add to. We'll pass a story back and forth like that for a couple weeks, each adding bits and pieces that interest us. I've found it a great way to share fantasies and learn about each other.

I've always known that my Knight would like to include the occasional playmate in our bedroom gymnastics. He was open about this desire even while we were dating, and promised me that he would never touch another woman without my permission. He's been true to his word. I enjoy using this particular fantasy to play and tease him. We have an ongoing story about some cute blonde that I made up years ago. It's not about him getting to screw another woman, it's about seeing me pleasured in many different ways with different people, it's about watching and being watched and making several women very content. I've always been open to the idea, but not until I felt we were solid enough to handle it.. and not until I was certain that my Knight would follow the rules I set out for him. The most important of which is "no communication with any other woman I bring into our bedroom without me being there."

See, my first husband cheated on me with an old high school friend after telling me they were "just friends", then he cheated on me with a couple of strangers,too. The first time I forgave him for the simple reason that I was his first. The day I found out about  the 2nd and 3rd times I kicked him out of the house and filed for divorce. I've also seen many seemingly solid, and close relationships fall apart when a playmate was introduced. That's not a chance I want to take with my Knight.  So, even though the idea of supervised playing wasn't off the table completely I have been cautious.

A good bit over a year ago, an old boyfriend dropped into my life out of nowhere. He ended up living in the studio apartment that is part of our house. And he ended up in our bed. It was my Knight's idea. He asked if I wanted to sleep with my friend and told me it was okay if I did. At first, I was against the idea.I didn't want to start something that could end badly. But my Knight encouraged me and eventually I warmed up to the idea. The old boyfriend certainly didn't object, and in fact, was very much open to the idea and it wasn't long before he was joining us in bed regularly. My Knight mentioned that it would be okay with him if the old boyfriend and I took off by ourselves occasionally to play, but somehow that just did not feel right to me,and so we never did. After a few months the old boyfriend no longer wanted to be included in our games, and we moved to a "just friends" relationship. My Knight and I discussed the possibility of me finding another guy to bring to our bed. I never ruled the idea out, but I haven't seriously acted on it, either.

We've been doing FLR for just under a year now and my Knight is trying very hard to meet my expectations. Most of the struggles we've had starting this journey have been my issues, not his. I struggle with my own perceptions of "fairness" and with trying to understand the "submissive mindset" I enjoy our FLR lifestyle, but still question how and why and even IF my Knight is truly happy in our arrangement. But again.. those are my hang ups, not his. And I think that maybe...just maybe  it's time for me to set up a short but fun scene for him. I'm still concerned about the after affects of such an action, but I'm pretty sure my Knight will follow the rules and I believe putting him in a surprise situation (one that we've talked about before) will help reinforce the trust between us, and his place in my life.

Now.. to put the details together.

7 comments:

  1. Miss Angelique, with all due respect (and I sincerely mean that) I sure do hope you are walking down a path that will build intimacy for you and your Knight and not lead either of you astray from one another. I know that you are cautious about what temptations you allow him to be exposed and tempted by (eg, not being alone with a woman) but what about you? No one is beyond temptation.... not even Dommes. I wish you well as you make this decision for the two of you.

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    1. I've given that a lot of thought. I don't consider myself to be above temptation, but I am fully aware of *what* I could be tempted by. If I go through with this I will avoid situations that could tempt me. I'm not looking complicate our life or add someone to the relationship. And, I'm certainly not willing to see us torn apart. Heck, we started FLR to try and avoid a divorce.

      My Knight was part of a swingers group before he met me. I wasn't comfortable with it because we were a new couple, so he broke all ties and walked away from it. I think we're finally at a place where we can occasionally play with others under the rules of our FLR. Although, I'm still not entirely sure I want to go down that road.

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  2. Here is an interesting read on the comment you posted written by Mistress Naydi:
    http://stealthdomme.blogspot.com/2012/05/robbing-mistress-to-pay-miss.html

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    1. Thanks for posting this. It gives me something to think about.

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  3. Mistress Angelique,

    I very much want to be asked to serve coffee to my wife and her lover after they make love, while I am helplessly kept in enforced chastity. Helping her get dressed for a date, cleaning the bed linins after they make love, and many others.

    ersonally, I think a wife keeping a domestic husband who is in enforced chastity pretty much all the time and a lover/boyfriend to be a rather ideal form of relationship dynamic. My wife at one time considered it seriously, but subsequently decided to keep our relationship monogamous for the time being. She has not ruled it out for the future though, if she ever feels comfortable doing so.

    For me it would be so wonderful, I can barley put it into words. It is a display of dominance that my submissive side considers 'top-shelf' pleasure and I do crave it very much. When my wife was in the process of considering it, I was open with my feelings and thoughts and the feeling of pleasure was immense. Like living in a bath of warm water. I can still remember the wonderful feelings of pleasure.

    Take care.

    Sincerely,

    -SH

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  4. SH, While that sounds like it would be fun for you, that's not the kind of situation I'm talking about. If I do anything it will be a very occasional get together that involves both my Knight and I under very strict rules. However, I do hope that you eventually get to live out your desire.

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    1. Mistress Angelique,

      I fully understand. I was just conveying an inner desire of mine on the topic. My apologies if it came across as a suggestion I felt you should comply with. It was not. Just a window. I find honestly writing to be a way to connect to who I am.

      Thank you for your kind words.

      Sincerely,

      -SH

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