Monday, January 23, 2012

To Lock or Not to Lock

After my last post Locked Husband suggested having my Knight wear a device might help solve our problem. I've been giving it a lot of thought.

On one hand, the idea of locking my Knight is intriguing. It could be a fun to force my control over his cock by keeping it under lock and key. I'll admit that sometimes I wonder if he's following my no masturbation rule as strictly as I expect, and locking him up wouldn't give him a choice in the matter. Locked Husband also mentioned that he feels more submissive to his wife when she has him locked.. and I'll admit that I'm curious if a device would have the same effect on my Knight.

But I think there is something indescribably sexy about keeping him unlocked and under my instructions. Knowing that he *could* masturbate when he's away from me but he *won't* simply because I don't want him to is an incredible turn on for me. Knowing that even when we're having sex he won't come without my specific permission is super, amazing hot.

It's an amazing mental switch, and for me that's a big deal. I've never had much of a physical sex drive. The physical need is just not there. That doesn't mean I don't like sex. I do like sex, and I have no difficulty having frequent, multiple, orgasms. Once I get started I'm kind of like a kinky energizer bunny.. but getting me started is a purely mental thing. I can go weeks without even thinking about sex and then something trips my mental switch and I turn into all sex, all the time. I've never really understood it, but I've learned to use it to my advantage. (yes, I've been checked for medical issues and hormonal issues. My theory is that it's related to my multiple sclerosis.)

I also find his submissive tendencies in all the other areas of our life adorable and sexy. I want to encourage him to let me be in charge as much as he's comfortable with (he hates the term "submissive") because it seems to work for us right now. But I don't want to wonder if he is "following directions" because he truly wants to or because he's locked up.

I wonder and question his true desire of all this enough without toys to prod the question in my mind. We're still fairly new at this and I still question his actual interest and motives in this.. as well as my own. My Knight reassures me that Yes, he's happy with this new dynamic in our relationship, happier than he was before, in fact. But I still question.. mainly because I would absolutely NOT like to be in the position he has agreed to put himself in. Having him locked would just add to my own questions about this whole FLR thing. And besides, he and I haven't even discussed it yet.

So for now at least, my Knight will remain unlocked.

That being the case, he had been informed that I expect him to exert a bit more control than he has previously. From here out, he is fully expected to refrain from release without my okay. The penalty for crossing that line is simple - no blow jobs for 2 full weeks for each infraction. In fact, my tongue will come no where near his cock if he breaks this rule. Which would be unfortunate for both of us. 


  1. Hi, just discovered your blog, through Locked Husband's blog roll. I will add you to mine too. As regards the post orgasmic thing, I think it's real, definitely. After my orgasm I definitely lose some feelings of closeness with Mistress R, and in fact I get a bit grumpy too. Hopefully Mistress R will start ruining my orgasms before long and keep me 'on board' so to speak. :)

    1. Thanks Robert! Hmm more food for thought -- I now have two guys telling me the post orgasmic thing is real for them. I guess I need to give it some more serious consideration and have another discussion with my Knight.

  2. I've had some success using the "honor system", just not for more than 5-6 days. Beyond that I need to help of a device. Some men, including Robert Anthony, if I recall, do very well without being locked. All said, I do think getting his masturbation completely under your control will help keep your FLR on track.

    1. Masturbation really hasn't been much of a problem for us. Early on in our relationship I made it clear that my feelings on the matter were simple.. if you're doing it yourself, you don't need my help. (now, if he wants to let me watch, that's a different matter) That was probably 7 years ago. Occasionally I remind him how I feel about it, and he's been pretty good about following that rule all along. Right now he's on day 7 of not being allowed to orgasm. We've had a long discussion over the last 2 days about the whole orgasm denial thing and what I'm aiming to achieve with it. He's agreed play along for a while.

      Withholding my tongue is a very powerful motivator.

  3. I just discovered your blog and glad that I did. Welcome! As the woman that is left to be in charge then by definition, what you say goes. Your way becomes the only way. What you want is what he wants so if you prefer to not lock him then unlock it is. I personally am locked - sometimes - meaning when I am away at work I lock, when I am home I unlock either when she tells me or at bedtime. I mention that because locking a man can take whatever form you wish it to take. Hope you find a way of taking charge that works best for you.



Knight has a thing for body piercings. I have a couple piercings that he gets to play with and take photos of when he's been really good...