Sunday, November 2, 2014

Not This Time, Dammit.

Here is a snapshot of what goes through my head. I know what I SHOULD do.... I know what I want to do. Do I have the guts to follow through?

It's been a week since we agreed to reinstate our FLR. On Monday, I wrote, shared and printed a new set of rules for my knight. One of those rules is that he keep his private areas shaved. I seriously dislike body hair. Right now, I don't require knight to shave his chest and stomach, only his pubic hair.  I want it shaved completely, not trimmed.

Like I said, it's been just about a week since I updated our rules. He still has not shaved, and I'm starting to feel like if he won't even follow this simple directive that I'm wasting my time and energy. I've indirectly reminded him three times. "You need to re-read the rules, because you're forgetting stuff. You don't get to pick and choose." Maybe I'm wrong here, but I honestly expect knight to follow the rules simply because they are the rules. I don't feel I should have to enforce those expectations that I've written down for him. Yeah, we've been here before. Before when it was obvious that knight was disobeying me on purpose I looked for reasons, gave him another chance, got angry with him, got discouraged with the FLR, and finally just gave up.

But. Not. This. Time. Dammit.  I am tired of the back and forth. I am tired of feeling like he's humoring me with the FLR. He agreed to this.. has even admitted that he asked for it. I want that hair gone.. and he's going to get rid of it if I have to tie his arms to our bedpost, and do it myself.  It's not difficult, and he's done it fore. He's kept himself shaved at my request for the last couple years. He stopped shaving about 5 months ago, when everything went to hell.


 This might be kind of fun, once I get over feeling awkward and silly. This is one of those times when I wish I drank. Tying knight up and shaving him might be easier with a drink or two in me.

At the same time, I feel like I should not have to resort to making him shave. It's right there in the rules. Number 8, I think. Knight was given an opportunity to discuss the rules Monday evening, before they went into effect. He told me he had nothing to add and no changes to request. So, he did agree.

And.. this is the part I don't understand. He wants me to set guidelines for him, wants me to lead us, and direct his behavior and efforts so that I am happy. Okay. Then why ignore the rules? It makes absolutely NO sense to me. This is where we always trip up.. he ignores a rule and it sends me into wondering what his motivation is, if he really wants the FLR at all. Is he just being stubborn for the sake of stubbornness? I don't believe that. Knight does things without thinking, he often does not understand my priorities, and acts contrary to what I would have requested had he asked, but he's never stubborn with me simply for the sake of being stubborn.

So.. WHY does something simple, like shaving, have to come down to me forcing him to comply?  Is he hoping to push me into forcing the issue?  I wish I understood this, because it's incredibly frustrating.

I'm not giving up this time. He is going to shave for me. I'm seriously thinking about tying him to he post of our bed, putting a blindfold on him, and shaving him. There's a good bit of hair there. Maybe once I have him blindfolded, I should get the electric trimmers and use those. Let him seriously wonder what the hell he's gotten himself into when he he hears me turn the trimmers on. Maybe then he'll pay attention to our written rules?

Outside of this one issue.. and the part of our bedtime routine that requires him to strip immediately after locking our bedroom door each night, knight is doing well. He completed his task list every day this week, and is close to completing his weekend list. He's following the rest of the rules, without question. Of course, the other rules are things he does or doesn't do anyway.

Yeah. Knight is being shaved this evening.

10 comments:

  1. Ms. Angelique,

    Whatever the reason, there should never be a period of time where you have to argue about what the rules are. I certainly don't know for sure, but in my FLM, if Mistress K. felt even a little like you seem to, she'd blister my ass. I suppose it is possible that a severe punishment spanking is exactly what he is asking for but for his submission to be honest, there has to be consequences when he is defiant.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is nothing to argue about. The rules are written, and kept in a shared document that we both have access to all the time. Plus, I keep a printed sheet of the rules, and his bedtime routine in our dresser so we both see them every morning.

      I guess I really just wish I understood this better. To my way of thinking, there is no reason not to meet expectations when those expectations have been made clear. Why put me in the situation of having to enforce the rules. He knows what's expected. So, why not do it?

      Either way.. I hope having me shave him tonight makes my point.

      Delete
  2. Ms.Angelique,
    Put some cloths clips on his nipples while you do his shaving business for him, my Lady would whip my ass as well.
    My Lady likes consequences, No sex for me, spanking, privileges, like T.V., golf, sweets, alcohol, even the couch has been off limits. Nothing pleasant.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sex is definitely off the table tonight. I'm hoping that when I tie him to our bedpost, blindfold him, and then shave him that he'll get the point that I'm unhappy.

      Delete
  3. Actually, that would be quite funny because he'll think he's getting tied up for sex and then.... oh.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I don't know that I would waste shaving cream on him this time.... a bit of pain while you shave him dry - leaving little cuts might be a good visual for him to know this is what happens when he refuses to obey. Every action has a consequence. What will his be?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Angelique, you're obviously a bright woman, but you're not seeing several things clearly at all. Just a few quick points, in no particular order...

    1. He is NOT "forgetting" the rules. He knows precisely what they are. He also knows exactly how far he can push you.

    2. Some submissives are more than happy with being an intensified version of the "doting husband" (I'm her's springs to mind here), while others need to feel the heel of their Mistress's boot grinding them into submission in a much more overt way. I have to admit being in the latter category and I suspect your man is as well. There is nothing wrong with giving your man what he needs in this arena, so long as it is on YOUR terms.

    3. If you want compliance, you've got to get past such antiquated necessities as the "punishment fitting the crime". On the contrary, the punishment needs to be far more severe than the transgression that triggered it. Everyone speeds while driving. How many speeders would there be if the law was actually enforced 100% of the time, with zero second chances, and a punishment of a $10,000 fine?

    4. Punishment must also be something that takes a minimum of effort on your part. If you tie him to the bed post and shave him, you're giving him exactly what HE wants. Aside from the mess, it's also a half hour of YOU focusing on HIM. Hard to imaging a better case of the "dominant" being controlled by the slave.

    5. If he disobeys or disappoints you, and you simply issue additional reminders of what he's done wrong (or worse, raised your voice), you've officially lost control of the situation.

    6. Bottom line - he needs to learn that EVERY time he steps out of line it will cost him dearly. He also needs to learn that it's easy for you to CONSISTENTLY enforce the rules because doing so just takes 15 seconds on your part while his punishment might last for hours on end.

    Best,

    Jake

    ReplyDelete
  6. I didn't get to shave him last night because my daughter called as knight and I were heading into the bedroom. My daughter and I were on the phone well past midnight, and I when we got of the phone I just wanted to sleep. So, tonight it is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. After you're done, spank him hard. You'll both be glad you did!

      Delete