After I sent that email to my knight yesterday I headed out to run errands and head 2+hours north to pick up my daughter and her boyfriend from the airport. I checked email on the phone as often as I could, because I was curious how knight would respond. I made a special point to check my email while I sat in the parking lot waiting when we picked him up from work. He had plenty of time to read the email because I picked him up a full 2 hours after everyone else had left. I sent the email yesterday for just that reason. I knew it would be 6 or 7 pm before I got back from the airport, and I figured the time alone in the office would be the perfect time for him to think about, and respond (if he was going to) to it.
At the least I was expecting "I don't know how I feel about this. Let me think about it." I thought he might defend, and explain, and discuss things a little bit. At most I wondered if he would ask to call off the flr all together. I had a response ready, in case he did just that.
All that in mind, I was surprised that, while I had several emails from knight waiting for me, not one mentioned the flr related email. I read his emails while I waited for him to shut down and pack up his computer, and lock up the building. Not one mention, not even in passing, of the email I had sent him.
He walked across the parking lot and got pulled into a game of tag by the kids. Knight chased them around for few minutes and then came over to give me a kiss. Nothing was said about the email on the way home. Of course we had an audience of 5 in the back seats, but still.. things can be veiled so that nobody understands what we're talking about. Once we were home, he had several opportunities to speak up. Still nothing. When we went to bed, finally completely alone, he still said nothing.
What was obvious to me, though, was that knight was a little more attentive to me, and to the kids, then he usually is. He went into my office and fixed my computer without a word to me. He helped with dinner clean up without being asked, and he checked in with me often. Those things, tell me that he did read my email, and he just didn't have anything he wanted to say.
So, as I told him, silence means consent. Okay, then. I'm going to start shopping for his device. I have an idea which one I want him to wear. Or at least I know which one I don't like the look of. I'm still not thrilled with the idea of keeping him in chastity. My reluctance has nothing to do with him, or his feelings on the matter. I like, no, I love the fact that he does not masturbate simply because I say so. Some of you will say, "if he's not locked, he's doing it, and you just don't know about it." While I'm sure it happens often, in this case, I am certain he's not. How can I be so sure? By the increased sensitivity, changes in length and girth that only happen when he's gone without for a long time.
But, at the same time, he didn't object to the idea, which leads me to believe that at least some of his bad behavior is an attempt to push me into giving him a more strict flr.
I've decided that I'm going to tie the use of the chastity device to increased communication. I want him to talk to me about his submissive thought and feelings. I want to know it all. Because I want to understand him as much as I can. So I will use the chastity device as a means to get that communication.
As for the spanking, I've decided that since he didn't object when given the chance, then HE does not see it as abusive. And, really abuse is in the eye of the receiver. If he tried to spank me as a punishment, I would be gone. Then again, if he wanted me to be submissive to him, I would not do it. It's part of the differences between us. I have given him the opportunity to tell me he is not willing to be spanked as punishment. He declined. That tells me that he doesn't see being spanked as punishment in the same way I do. Once again, I have to remind myself that just because I don't understand it, doesn't make it wrong for me to give it to him.
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