Friday, May 25, 2012

A Lot To Think About

I am still sorting through my feelings and impressions regarding my Knight's total break of my trust the other day. Yes, the incident itself was a small one. And yes.. if he had asked me if it was okay I would have said yes. BUT.. the whole point is that he did NOT ask.. did not even mention it until the circumstances forced him to. He had almost 12 full hours in which to come clean, and he failed to do so. For which is reasoning was, "She didn't answer my email."

I have not handed down his final punishment because I have not yet decided what will best get the point across. The easy answer would have been to shock the hell out of him by beating his ass with a hairbrush until I simply couldn't swing that brush anymore. Goodness knows that I was, and still am, angry enough to do it. But..... as much as I may be tempted, I'm not so sure that approach is me. And the biggest question -- would it make enough of an impression on him to keep him from ever repeating the behavior. Somehow, I don't think so. I think it would make him angry and resentful. I could be wrong, but it seems to me that both those emotions are pretty counterproductive to the kind of trust and absolute honesty I expect from him.

 I think I need to focus on trust building activities. Find things which build trust and, at the same time increase emotional attachment to me. I'm not sure what those activities are.. I'm going to spend some time this weekend researching.

At the same time there still needs to be some sort of punishment for his behavior. Because this is an ongoing issue in our marriage, I am not buying his repeated apologies. At this point, I still think he'd do it again given similar circumstances, and that's unacceptable. His punishment needs to stand out in his mind and make it absolutely clear that this behavior is NEVER to happen again.

When we started the FLR aspect I created a a bag full of possible punishments. I've never needed to use that bag, but there is a first time for everything. I think I will have him roll a die. The number on the die will be the number of punishment slips he pulls from the bag. All punishments must be completed before Sunday night or there will be additional consequences. Probably in the from of pulling another slip from the bag and not being permitted in the same room with me until they are complete.

That's what I'm leaning toward, anyway.

3 comments:

  1. Mistress Angelique,

    Ohh, you are so smart. Great idea.

    For punishments, surprisingly there is a wealth of information on the internet on how to punish a submissive. ;-} Some come with helpful videos and pictures. Lol……

    My personal favorite is a tablespoon of Tabasco. Bottoms up. Yum-Yum.....

    Although the hairbrush idea would be painful and cause him to feel unfairly treated, the infliction of pain by a domme onto a submissive is pretty common. It is known as DD (domestic discipline). My wife is not a big fan. She does pinch me and a few other things. When she gets angry at me, her response is most often a tongue lashing. Every women is different though and you should really think about what it is “you” would “enjoy” doing to make “you” feel better about it. If he gave you his gift of submission, then he gave you this liberty to do with him as you see fit.

    Have a good weekend.

    Sincerely,

    -SH

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  2. Punishment does a lot toward resolving your anger, especially if he finally gets the point. Be sure to talk to him about the trust issue. I bet he still thinks it is about the money.

    I would make sure he had no access to phone or money somehow...give him a dollar a day and make him bring his lunch from home. He would be required to be home immediately after work, and then be constantly supervised...so he can see how life is when you can't trust him. No privacy. You can take that theme into so many arenas...bathroom use supervised, log of every activity, having to ask permission to do everything, no TV...

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  3. Your idea sounds fair. I am sure being "removed" from you will be the worst punishment of all.

    When he has suffered though and endured his punishment and shown you that he is sorry and has learned I hope you will let your anger go and move forward, that is the best policy.

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