Thursday, January 23, 2014

Review Results.. Blah.

We started our monthly review last night. By the time we had the opportunity to talk alone, it was almost midnight. I was tired and fell asleep in the middle of our conversation -- mostly because I was the only one with anything to say.  I told him that I was unhappy with the number of times he has forgotten to bring me his list at the end of the day, and I was unhappy with the number of times his task list had not been completed.

I asked my knight now he felt the flr was going, and he told me he was upset that I was "mad" because he wasn't keeping up with what I asked. It was  pretty obvious that he was upset with himself, not me.

Then I asked him what he thought we could change to encourage him to finish his task lists, and to do as I ask. "I don't know, babe." Was his answer.. no surprise there. But, he was really quiet.. unusually so... like something was bothering him.

I asked him flat out if he wanted to continue the the flr. He answered yes.

The next question was how would he like to see things change. His only answer was that he didn't want me to be mad at him.

I told him it would make things easier if I had some sort of idea how to help him "keep up" with his task list.  After waiting about 15 minutes for an answer I fell asleep on him.

We didn't have time to talk this morning. He started a new job on Tuesday, and has about an hour drive each way.We're still getting used to the new schedule.So, when I sent his task list this morning I included this in his daily tasks:
finish discussion from last night. Things I want to discuss (if it's more comfortable for you, you can answer these in email today)
             punishment options - When you *really* screw up, what are the limits?
             reward options - I'm considering a reward system.. you earn points and can work toward things like adding a 3rd for an evening, or watching me with a friend one evening, or an evening of playing with restraints, or ....whatever. I would make up a list.  I've been waiting until you "earn it" buy showing me you will follow instructions. You're struggling with that, so maybe a point system would help??                         
              I've considered buying you a CB3000 to play with occasionally.I'm wondering if it would help remind you of your responsibility and promise to do as I request.  How do you feel about that? (if you don't know what I'm talking about.. don't look it up at work, or with the kids around.)
              How do we make this work better for both of us? I know you said you don't know, but I'm not totally convinced you're being honest with me. It seems as if you're tying to get something from me without asking.... and really, it would be better/easier on both of us if you just talked to me. 

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