Tonight, my knight and I will have our scheduled flr review. I plan these reviews monthly as a time to discuss what is working, what's not working, and what each of us would like to see changed in the next month. The purpose of these reviews is to give my knight an opportunity to openly discuss what he likes and wants from our flr, because between scheduled reviews he is expected to do as told without complaint.
It's been a rough month for us. My knight has not been so great at following instructions or meeting expectations. Here is a short list of the problems we've been having:
1. He has not remembered to review his daily task list with me before bed.
2. Task list items have not been completed
3. He does not seem to be taking flr seriously. Examples:
a. Making excuses for not completing tasks.
b. Thinking "I'm sorry" some how fixes tasks repeatedly not getting done
4. Spending money without my approval
5. Not sticking to shopping lists.
6. Being undependable.
7. Yesterday, he has a task list for while I was gone. He did not follow that task list, and instead did chores not on his list for the day.
There are more.. but these are the big ones.
Now, my knight is much better about these things when I am strict, and just a bit stern with him. The problem is that strict and stern is not my normal personality. Yes, I'm picky, and just a bit difficult to live with sometimes. There are some things that I expect to be "just so" --knight following his task list is one of those things. But, really, the things I'm super picky about are not many, and not unreasonable, and outside of those things, I'm pretty laid back about most things. I expect household tasks to get done correctly and on-time, I expect the people who live here to pick up after themselves. These things are important to me because there are eight people in our family, and six of us are living in one house. I have to stay on top of things so that the household runs smoothly and everyone gets where and what they need when they need.
I don't like being strict and stern with my knight. I'd much rather be relaxed and playful with him. But, when I am relaxed and playful, he starts slacking off.
Tonight we are going to discuss ways to get him to follow his task list, and present that task list to me at the end of the day for review each and every day.
We're going to talk about what motivates him to do as I asked, and what makes him feel frustrated. And, we're going to discuss punishments for not complying with my instructions. I want to know how my knight feels about punishments. Once, when we were first starting out in flr, he told me "do whatever you feel you need to, to get me to do what you expect." But, then, when I handed down punishments, he ignored them and refused to complete the punishment...
Tonight, I want to know:
Do I really have free reign to punish him however I see fit?
What motivates him to do as I've asked?
I am considering a chastity device to be used as punishment (because nothing else seems to be working). How does he feel about that?
What kinds of punishments does he think will work to change his behavior and encourage him to be more reliable?