Thursday, January 3, 2013

Intentional Leading

I am bad about forgetting to intentionally lead my Knight. I get caught up in the day-to-day of raising and homeschooling the kids, running both our businesses, writing etc, and I forget to take the time for the extras that make flr fun for my Knight. It's easy for me to become so focused on whatever I'm doing that I don't tease my Knight during our day.

My personal goal for January is to actively look for ways to flirt with or tease my Knight at least three times every single day sometime before we go to bed for the evening. While it might sound simple to a lot of you, we are super... super busy and both of us tend to tunnel vision into what we're doing. Being that focused has its benefits and drawbacks. The benefits are that we tend to accomplish a lot, and we usually have quiet a few joint and individual projects going on any given time. But, of course the main drawback is that sometimes I forget to flirt with my Knight. I think my lack of flirting sometimes leaves my Knight feeling neglected. He's a very touch-focused guy. He never walks past me without a kiss or a touch, not so much because I need it, but because my Knight needs that touch.

I believe that part of leading is making it a point to be proactive in meeting the needs of the other person.. so I will make it a point to slow down and touch or kiss my Knight each time I pass him.

I'm also working on giving him "better" instructions on a daily basis. Right now, I give him a list of tasks to be completed each day. That list usually includes what time I expect him home from work (he's salaried, and tends to get absorbed in whichever project he's working on and ends up working late. ), and what chores he's responsible for in the evenings. Sometimes I include an flr writing or "think about so we can talk about it later" type assignment. Those are mostly reserved for evenings when I have plans outside the house.  Tonight's assignment is to write 500 words or more about what he enjoys about orgasm control.  I'm trying to decide how long this session of denial will be. I've got a number in mind, but I want to know what he's thinking first.

Really..... I think this month is mostly about really thinking about what I want from my Knight and intentionally leading him in that direction, instead of taking a day-to-day approach like I 've  been doing.


  1. If only all women were as understanding and symathetic to their husbands needs.

  2. I have a non bdsm related question. You mention you are an herb specialist or however you say it. I am wondering if you have any natural remedies for helping a woman be less moody and miserable with pms and also one for edema. If you want you could email me at missc513 at gmail dot com. I think i have a gluten sensitivity and am cutting out all gluten so that may improve things but just in case. Any suggestions would be great.

    1. PMS problems of most type are oftentimes caused by too little calcium in the blood. Try increasing your calcium intake throughout the month so that you have move available calcium during PMS.

    2. Interesting, I have never really paid attention to how much calcium I get, I will keep that in mind. Thank you.

  3. Now related to your post i really like your goal and I hope it closes the gap and keeps your knight more excited. I also wonder if you kept him in denial for much longer periods of time and instilled a huge fear of his oopsing from happening if you would see a more excited communicative side of him in the wlm. One of my goals for 2013 is to deny Jay for longer and be much stricter about it. Im curious to see what change if any it brings about.



Knight has a thing for body piercings. I have a couple piercings that he gets to play with and take photos of when he's been really good...