Wednesday, November 19, 2014

The Not So Perfect Evening

Remember yesterday that I said knight would get his only orgasm in almost a month last night  "unless he somehow manages to royally screw up today" ?

Yep. He screwed it up. As far as I'm concerned he fucked up big. Now, before I go into this, understand that it's the principle of it that I'm upset about. The blatant disregard for my request, and his complete and total lack of self control.The issue itself is minor.

Yesterday was a big day at knight's office.They finished and released a huge project that has been 2 years in the making. The whole office celebrated with an afternoon lunch party. The company sprung for pizza and salad for all the employees as way of celebration. Knight emailed me to let me know about the pizza. I told him, "Go ahead, since it's a part, but don't eat more than one piece of pizza" Background here is that knight has unstable blood sugar and reacts to specific food chemicals. Grains make his blood sugar spike to high end diabetic levels, and cause mood swings. MSG and tomatoes make him brain fogged, itchy, moody, depressed,  and bring out the worst of his OCD. Like every other health issue in this house, we manage this stuff via diet, herbs and other natural methods. (My degrees are in Natural Health and Naturopathy).   Now.. notice I told knight he could have ONE piece of pizza, and no more. That was a concession to the situation.. I didn't think he should have any grains at all because we went out to dinner this past Saturday and he ate burritos (flour) at the restaurant. This stuff builds up in his system and the affects accumulate. He needs a full week between eating things that cause reactions in order to minimize the impact.

Anyway... not 15 minutes after I picked knight up from work I knew, from the way he was acting and talking, that he ate more than one piece of pizza. He was talking unusually fast, repeating himself three and four times, and just couldn't seem to keep on track of his conversation. He'd start the sentence with one point, and end somewhere completely different. I cut him off mid-sentence and asked him if he had more than one piece of pizza.

He looked at me, kind of stunned. "Only two."

"I thought I told you to limit yourself to one."

He sighed. " That's why I didn't have the third slice that F kept trying to push on me"

"But, you're not married to F. You're married to me, and I said to limit yourself to one. I didn't think you should have any because of the Mexican food on Saturday. One piece was my compromise. You know you react to that stuff." I was visibly irritated.

"But F wouldn't leave me alone, she kept insisting."

"So, you gave in to a 60 year old woman, and now you have to deal with me. You're hyper, and spacey.. and you're babbling uncontrollably. Half of what you were saying made almost no sense. You are reacting to the flour, MSG and whatever else was in there."

"No, I'm not. And besides they ordered Hawaiian. I've never seen anybody order Hawaiian except us."

"That is no excuse. Stop trying to rationalize it. I said no more than one piece, and you blew me off,."

"This is exactly the crap you pull that causes me to doubt and drop the dynamic."  I couldn't say too much more because the kids were in the back of the van. 

The ride home was fairly silent between. I was thinking about how best to handle this.  Knight was obviously upset with himself.

Once we were home I told knight that I was cancelling our plans for the evening because of the pizza incident. The kids were around, so I didn't say to much else.

After the kids went to bed, knight and I sat by the fire and talked. I told him that it was garbage like this - intentionally and knowingly ignoring my requests that get us into trouble with the flr. He tried to say that he never intentionally ignores me. I called his bullshit and pointed out that he knew I said one piece of pizza, and he didn't do as I asked. Knight didn't say much after that. I told him that he agreed to the flr.. asked for it, in fact, and that I expect him to follow the rules. I told him that I have no desire to play the "make me listen game." I expect him to be an adult and follow the rules.

I asked him, "Do you want the flr?"


"Then, you are expected to follow my requests without playing the "let's see what she'll do IF" game. Every time.. all the time.. you are expected to do as I ask. That IS what you asked for, right?"


"Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

He sighed. " Just that I screwed up . I'm sorry."

I repeated that this is the kind of thing that causes me to drop the flr out of frustration, and if he wanted to keep the dynamic, he would NEVER pull this shit again.

Then I said that I promised him I would deal with everything under the flr dynamic, and that included this.  So, he would be punished. I told him that
 I didn't have anything off the top of my head. "I never expected you to blatantly ignore my requests.. I'm disappointed in you. I need a few hours to come up with an appropriate punishment. I will let you know what it will be by bedtime tomorrow."  I also told him that his orgasm has been postponed until punishment is given out and fulfilled.

Knight didn't say anything. I dropped it, and we curled up on the couch to watch this week's recorded Walking Dead.

When we went to bed, I asked knight if he understood what he had done, and why I was angry and disappointed. He said he thought so.

So... now  I have to come up with a punishment. 


  1. I long, hard, memorable spanking is always something that helps me focus on what I did wrong. You know, the kind that leaves small bruises. I don't believe what he did is worthy of post orgasm spanking, but if you haven't done that in the past, you may want to consider having him masturbate to orgasm for you, while you are holding thepaddle, and with the full knowledge that after he cums he will be punished. This, to me is the most severe kind of punishment.

  2. I don't know what I would do for a punishment but it appears that all of this was the result of his inability to resist the request of F and her pressing him to eat more than one slice. One thought would be to role-play this using an apple or an orange - instead of pizza - with you playing the role of F and giving him the chance to respond appropriately. In other words, you're teaching him about what to do "next time".

    The other thing you might want to do is to somehow have him contact F and explained that he disobeyed you by eating a second slice. It would be embarrassing but the whole point here is that he put you first and not her or someone else. I read sub hubs suggestion of spanking him but knowing of his past with his ex-wife I doubt you will go that way. Hope you choose wisely.

    1. you know me IH, there's nothing that a good, hard barre ass spanking can't fix. *smile

  3. Talking to F about what happened is out of the question. She is a co-worker, is the right hand of the company CEO, would probably tell him to stop letting his wife "boss him around" or something similar.

    I've been thinking about this a lot, and, you're right. I think it was more of a self control issue and maybe even an issue of simply giving in to a woman who was pressuring him. Would he have done the same thing if one of the guys had been shoving the pizza in his face? Somehow, I don't think so. I don't think knight set out to disobey me. He probably started out with the intention of having only one piece of pizza and then gave in to F.

    I've come up with my punishment, and will post it in just a bit.

  4. You need to consider the possibility that he did this either consciously or subconsciously on purpose to avoid the impending orgasm. It's very possible that he is enjoying the good feelings and the teasing without having the letdown of orgasm. I've read your entire blog and knight often acts out, so this line of thinking seems plausible. -bestboy

    1. That thought occurred to me this morning. I don't understand why someone would purposely avoid an orgasm, but then again, I don't really understand why flr works for knight, either. So, it is a possibility. I decided that next time, I simply will not tell him when he's earned an orgasm. I told him as part of the tease, not to cause him stress. One of the changes I'm bringing about as a result of yesterday is increased communication about the orgasm control. Hopefully it can become a topic of more open discussion between us and then I'll know more.



Knight has a thing for body piercings. I have a couple piercings that he gets to play with and take photos of when he's been really good...