Friday, January 30, 2015

He's Slipping Again.

I am so tired of the back and forth. Knight had been slipping on basic rules again. I've been sick all week. (not sick actually, but a healing crisis brought on by the CBD oil I'm taking for the ms). I've been dizzy, light headed, and very fatigued. I'm having trouble with my asthma, too. These things mean that I am just not feeling up to putting up with, or dealing with his bullshit. I need him to simply do what he is supposed to.

He hasn't been bringing me his list each evening, and small things on his daily list have gone undone. He's totally blown off the rule that he is to be undressed in our bedroom. He's stopped getting my evening med when the alarm goes off unless I specifically ask him to do it. I told him long ago, that I shouldn't have to ask for it. When the alarm goes off, I want him to go get my med for me, and bring me a cup of tea with it. I've had to either ask or do it myself every day for the past 2 weeks.

He has gotten better about not assuming we'll be watching a movie when we go into the bedroom each night. He's remembered to make the bed almost every morning, and he's gotten in the habit of turning on the space heater for me in the morning. Knight also did laundry the other evening when I told him I didn't get to it because I wasn't feeling well. But, when you get down to it, he wanted a specific shirt for work, so I'm not sure that counts as doing it for me.

We had our 3 month Flr review a night or two ago. Knight said he knew he's been screwing up, and apologized for it. He says he'll try to do better in the next 3 months. I told him that he's been assuming things, and putting distance between us because he won't talk to me. I told him what I wanted to see change over the next 3 months, but I wasn't very complete or thorough about it because I felt horrible.

This morning, he disappointed me. We were lying in bed after his alarm went off and I started playing with his cock a little bit. I have been feeling pretty rotten this week, so there  has been no sex play at all. He didn't warn me that he was close to coming. He didn't seem very close to to me, but he was.... and so he came this morning without my permission.  He knew I was unhappy with him.

His chastity device isn't here yet. When it gets here he'll be wearing it.

I'm still not feeling so great, but the healing crisis is starting to fade.  Ms sucks sometimes.. but, I shouldn't complain. A healing crisis is a good thing.


  1. Replies
    1. Yes, it is. But it will have to wait until I'm feeling better.

  2. We all wish you the best of health!

  3. Angelique, I'm saddened to hear that things are still not working out for you two and also that your condition is making you unwell. I can't understand why he would act this way and as I am way too much a novice at this I can"t offer any advice that might help. Just know that I am hoping that you find the path through this. DtBHC.

    1. I don't get it either, but I expect better from him.

  4. Just found your blog. Like it a lot. Your guy sounds a lot like the man I still love...
    My 2 cents: (take what feels right for you and ignore the rest!)
    The message you sent to him a few weeks ago was exactly what I would have written as well. We women think like that :-)
    I do think though, that it was too long and too complex for him. It probably evoke a feeling of: "I do not even know where to start to make it better again". The more specific you are, the better he seems to be able to deal with it. He did fix the computer, for instance.
    And it seems to me that you did not actually let action follow your emotional words.
    My gut feelig tells me: He might respond better to short sharp shocks.
    choose one thing/task that he did not do and fully confront him about it. Focus on the one thing only. Ignore all the rest. Just choose something that you feel very strongly that he should have done it. Make sure that it is something that you really think he should have done. Make sure that you are not secretly wavering about it.
    And punish him for that one not done task. Don`t wait until you feel better. There is no need for you to muster your strength in order to punish him. Try to think of his punishment as something like brushing your teeth, Nothing spectacular, just something that needs to be done.
    My proposal:
    Make him write lines. Tell him, that tonight he has to write a certain line 200 times. Nothing colorful and huge. Nothing too big. Just a punishment that tells him that he has overstepped a line. It will clear the air and it will give you the feeling of being in control again. Insist that you get the lines before he gets to bed that night. Look at the lines, check them for completeness and then tell him: "Thank you, well done. Now throw the lines in the trash and come to bed with me."

  5. I agree completely with lawyers suggestions. Especially her punishment idea. If u want him naked in bedroom and he refuses, kick him out until he complies. Again... Screw up = immediate response to correct.

  6. Hope you are feeling better soon. Hang in there and don't give up. Things will get better.

  7. Cumming without permission is one of the worst offenses a slave can do to his wife. When my wife plays with "her" cock every morning, I must tell her to please stop way before I even edge. She will decide then if she will permit me to edge. It is not a slaves decision to make.

    Corner time is easy for you , and tough for him. Take a pair of your worn panties and after he is in the corner, place them between his nose and the wall. Handcuff or tie his hands behind his back. Tell him he has one hour, but if the panties drop, the time starts all over again. This way you can do something else and he is getting a effective punishment.

    For a more serious offense, like cumming without permission, being tied up in my wife's closet for 3 hours or more is a punishment she loves to use. There is a hook in the ceiling and she passes a rope thru it. My hands are tied with one end of the rope, the other end is pulled tight and attached to a cleat on the wall. My wife will raise or lower me as she feels like, keeping me uncomfortable. I am tied up either in panties or if longer, a diaper. I am given a bottle of water before being tied up, and may not speak. She forbids me to use the diaper, but she says If I want to disobey her and pee, then there will be further punishment. Sometimes I just cannot hold it after 3 hours and pee in my diaper. So next weekend I spend some more time in her walk in closet.



Knight has a thing for body piercings. I have a couple piercings that he gets to play with and take photos of when he's been really good...